Director Cage Fight – Round 2

by Mr. Nobel

Round 2: Stanley Kubrick vs. Martin Scorsese

The set up: You’ve just hired Stanley Kubrick and Martin Scorsese to film your wedding rehearsal. This is going to be one expensive bloody wedding.

Martin Scorsese: Marty grabs several cameras and sets them up strategically around the church. He convinces you to replace the bride’s father with Robert DeNiro and the best man with Leonardo DiCaprio, and converts both you and your soon to be spouse to Roman Catholicism. He begins playing around with lighting, setting up reflectors and lamps everywhere. You run out to B&H Photo to go buy Marty a steadicam rig. When you come back, you find that he’s gotten rid of the church interior, and turned your wedding into an homage to Chaplin starring Martin Scorsese as a geeky fanboy/street urchin with a heart of gold and a tragic past. Oh yeah, and you and your fiancee have been rewritten into side characters.

Stanley Kubrick: He’s fucking dead. Why the hell did you hire a corpse to film your wedding?

Winner: By default, Scorsese wins.