It struck me after finishing Only God Forgives that this year was an especially bad one for on-screen intelligence. That’s not to say there haven’t been good or smart movies, but rather that spectacularly dumb things have happened with an uncommonly high frequency in otherwise good (or not) movies.
Here are the ones that stick out in my mind (spoilers for several movies may follow):
5. Any time World War Z involves a plane. Seriously. A guy slips on the ramp to a plane and accidentally shoots himself in the head. Some pilots decide to just abandon Brad Pitt in Israel because they think he’s a prick or something. Brad Pitt uses a fucking grenade on another plane and fucking SURVIVES!
4. In Olympus Has Fallen, a North Korean military cargo plane with massive machine guns manages to sneak, unnoticed, all the way over to Washington, D.C., and proceeds to shoot the crap out of the city and the Washington Monument. And their Washington, D.C., doesn’t even look like D.C.!
3. Star Trek Into Darkness. Everything about that film. I can’t…Even the fucking title! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.
2. James McAvoy’s character in Trance has a thing for paintings with shaved women, so Rosario Dawson shaves off her pubic hair. What?
1. The ending to Only God Forgives, which inspired this little feature, belongs to a league of its own. Mommy boy (Ryan Gosling) finds his mother’s corpse, slices open her abdomen and shoves his hand into her womb. Symbolism!
Honorable mention goes to Movie 43, for being the overall dumbest movie I’ve seen this year.