Confessional

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I has been…never since my last confession. I know how proper quote unquote movie critics should behave at screenings among other quote unquote critics, but I’ve strayed from the proper path far too many times. I wish to no longer have these sins bearing down on my soul, so here they are, for your edification, Father:

  • I confess that I did enter the screening for Puss in Boots approximately 40 minutes late and still wrote up a review for the film. And yea, it was good.
  • I confess that I did enter the screening for Blue Valentine approximately five minutes late with a companion. Both of us also brought the world’s loudest bags of chips into the theater and munched vicariously throughout the film.
  • I confess that I was the guy who farted explosively during last Monday’s Robocop screening.

What? I can’t confess because I’m not Catholic? Fuck you, Father.