For posterity’s sake:
Best Picture – Prediction: Gravity
Should win: The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Director – Prediction: Alfonso Cuaron
Should win: David O. Russell, because he really, really needs to just get it out of his system and
fuck Jennifer Lawrence win an Oscar already.
Best Actor – Prediction: Matthew McConaughey
Should win: Anyone, really, except Christian Bale.
Best Actress – Prediction: Cate Blanchett
Should win: Either her or Amy Adams. But FFS, in a year with Adele Exarchopoulos, Brie Larson and Julie Delpy, they go for Streep and Dench? Fucking embarrassment.
Best Supporting Actor – Prediction: Jared Leto
Should win: Bradley Cooper
Best Supporting Actress – Prediction: Lupita Nyong’o
Should win: Eh. Anyone.
Best Adapted Screenplay – Prediction: 12 Years a Slave
Should win: The emperor of Fucksville. I mean, The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Original Screenplay – Prediction: Her
Should win: Her, I guess, since they really hated Inside Llewyn Davis, evidently.
Best Cinematography – Prediction: Gravity
Should win: Gravity or Inside Llewyn Davis
Best Costume Design – Prediction: American Hustle
Should win: I was quite partial to costumes from The Grandmaster, but all of them are pretty deserving here.
Best Film Editing – Prediction: Captain Phillips
Should win: NOT American Hustle
Best Makeup and Hairstyling – Prediction: Dallas Buyers Club
Should win: Have you seen Bad Grandpa? No? Well, I guess I don’t blame you.
Best Original Score – Prediction: Gravity
Should win: Ugh, Her, I guess? Weak field, weak year. Hans Zimmer probably deserves another trophy for his William Tell mix from The Lone Ranger.
Best Original Song – Prediction: “Let It Go” from Frozen
Should win: Anything else
Best Production Design – Prediction: The Great Gatsby
Should win: Her, by a country mile
Best Sound Editing – Prediction and should win: Gravity
Best Sound Mixing – Prediction: Gravity
Should win: Inside Llewyn Davis
Best Visual Effects – Is this even a question? Gravity
Best Animated Film – Prediction: Frozen
Should win: See comments regarding Original Song
Best Documentary Feature – Prediction: 20 Feet from Stardom
Best Foreign Language Film – Prediction: The Great Beauty
Best Animated Short Film – Prediction: Mr. Hublot
Best Documentary Short – Prediction: The Lady in Number 6
Best Live Action Short Film – Prediction: The Voorman Problem (aka the only English one)